Sunday, November 13, 2016

Čokoladni žepki, odmorčki in zgodovina


Enostavno povedano sem slaba v uvodih. Najraje bi začela v neki sredini in izlila vsa čustva iz sebe, ampak ne gre vedno vse tako. Naj začnem z drugimi besedami. Tukaj je november, z njim dež in tudi sneg. Mraz zjutraj me ubija, še bolj pa budilka zaradi šole. In prav sem merim danes, šola. Sicer se ne sliši zanimivo. Brez skrbi, post ne vključuje matematičnih enačb ali nalog iz fizike. To želim danes le povezati z  nekim vplivom na človeka, in pogled skozi oči najstnikov. Sem kar mnenja, da se bo vsak našel nekje v teh besedah.

Anyway jaz osebno sem trenutno v 1.letniku srednje šole. Kar bi naj predstavljajo najboljša leta mojega življenja. Seveda se ne pritožujem šola je kul, sošolci še boljši in čokoladni žepki nekaj najboljšega zraven odmorčka pri transu. Vse je fino fajn. Vsekakor pa gredo zahvale za mojo še kar najboljšo voljo Maticu in sem tudi čisto prepričana, da nama bo uspelo! No ja, minili so skoraj 3 mesci od začetka. Naj povem najprej nekaj, kar moram dati iz sebe. Pričakovala sem, da je to nek vstop v svet odraslih. Sem pa ugotovila nasprotno. Preslišala sem veliko stvari vse od norčevanja iz nekoga, ki obiskuje psihologa do nekakšnih čudnih mnenj o istospolno usmerjenih in, da ne bom nadaljevala. Saj čisto spoštujem mnenje drugih, a v nekakšni meji normalnega pogovarjanja in pazljivosti pri izbiri besed. Pa naj bi bili neki intelektualci, kot nam pravi učiteljica zgodovine. Ona nas vidi, ona ve kaj počnemo. Strašljivo, če vprašaš mene. Saj drugače so ljudje čisto v redu, razen kakih nadležnih fantov seveda. Večinoma prijazni, še posebej prodajalke čokoladnih žepkov. Ampak nekako je razmišljanje na katerih še vedno na nivoju vrtca. Da ne bom šla predaleč, preidimo k temu, ko šola postane bolj pomembna kot naše duševno zdravje. Vem, vsi si želimo uspeha, zato raje izpustimo nekaj ur spanja, kar pa nikakor ni zdravo. Nato zaradi stresa izpustimo kakšen obrok, kar je še hujše. Grozno me jezi, da sebe ne postavimo pred ostale reči. Čeprav to ni nikakor najlažja stvar, ker vsi nekaj zahtevajo. A včasih potrebuješ res le globok vdih in razmislek ob kavi ali najljubši seriji. Seveda kakšnemu učitelju ne bo všeč, da si izpustil kakšno nalogo, ampak tebi bo boljše brez nekega nepotrebnega breakdown-a in utrujenosti ter izčrpanosti. Včasih enostavno ne zmoreš vsega in s tem ni narobe čisto nič. Zaradi neke nižje ocene še ne boš izgubil možnosti, da postaneš svetovno znan zdravnik. In ja, zavedam se, da šolo enostavno moramo končati, ampak, če si vzameš en dan zase, ti ne bo škodilo. Potem še lahko preidem k odnosu z učitelji, Učiteljica zgodovine bi rekla, da si ne bomo dobri. Se zgodi tudi to. Ampak, a se nek najstnik res uči vseh 10 predmetov na dan? Hm, v to pa kar močno dvomim. Verjemite, vsaj neka četrtina, ki pride zjutraj v šolo in ne ve odgovoriti na vaše vprašanje, se je včeraj ob prihodu domov zgrudila ob robu postelje in iskala rešitev. Šola ni naš edini problem. Nekdo se je z jokom prisilil v spanje in pričakovano je, da kar pozabi in ve tudi vse o tisti snovi, ki je še nismo obravnavali. No tukaj pa res dobite aplavz. Seveda boste rekli, da najstniški problemi, sploh niso problemi.. ampak kdo nas bo pripravil na prave težave, če se ne bomo mi sami? Ker zaradi vsega tega nas skrbi le to, kako bomo zaključili šolsko leto, nato mogoče faks, kako se bomo zaposlili ovo ono in na koncu ugotovimo, da smo med vsem tem pozabili živeti. Enostavno morajo odnos imeti tudi učitelji, ne da ga mora imeti le učenec. V šolo hodimo vsaj nekih 9 let, a vseeno nas nihče ne nauči nič o tem kako se spopadati z življenjem. Nihče nas ni naučil, kaj narediti, ko smo na robu. Ste nas sploh kdaj učili kako živeti na realnih tleh?


Torej dragi vsi, ki ste zaposleni v šolskem sistemu.Se spomnite vsega pritiska, ki nas je počasi ubijal? Se spomnite kričanja na nas, ker si vsega nismo zapomnili in smo tudi mi le ljudje? Se spomnite ko ste nas kar tako izzvali in nas je kar nekaj občutilo prihod panike, saj tega niste napovedali? Se spomnite, ko ste nam vzeli že 8 ur življenja in se nato odločili za še 2 dodatni? Se spomnite, ko smo pozno v noč dokončevali vaše eseje in seminarske naloge? Se spomnite, ko ste rekli, da je šola varen kraj? Se spomnite, ko ste zahtevali, da dobimo 9 ur spanja in si med tem vzamemo čas za vse ostale stvari in nudimo še ves ta čas šoli? Se spomnite, ko ste videli, da imamo 'slabo' povprečje, nam napovedali še več testov in nato rekli, da smo leni? Se spomnite, ko je učenje bilo zabavno? Se spomnite, ko ste to uničili? Ker verjemite, mi se spomnimo vsake podrobnosti.


Vsem vam pa želim uspešno novo šolsko leto in veliko zadovoljstva!!!





Tokrat nimam slike za oboževalko, lahko pa vidi, da sem umrla v miru.




















Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Problem sveta - človek.


S tem postom ne rešujem vseh celin, da ne bo kdo spet imel vmesnih komentarjev. Svoj vpliv želim prenesti le na posameznika, ki to prebere in poskusi spremeniti vsaj kako majhno stvar na sebi. Celoten svet bomo itak zelo težko rešili, ker je fucked. Lahko pa se potrudimo pri družbi, saj nekatere stvari več nimajo smisla.


Začela bom na področju, ki me zelo jezi. To je kako drugim uničujemo sanje o njihovi prihodnosti in ciljih. A smo lahko še bolj zlobni? Človek si želi nekaj v življenju in potem gremo to uničevat z besedami. Ena sama beseda pa lahko človeka uniči tako zelo, da ne najde izhoda. Pa je to potrebno? Ne, nikakor. Na svetu gojimo toliko sovraštva, da drug drugega ubijamo. Vse več ljudi potrebuje strokovno pomoč, zaradi naše nespametnosti. Najhujše pa je to, da nam je na koncu vseeno. Nekoga privedemo do želje po škodovanju in povemo, da nam je vseeno.  Nekdo umre zaradi sočloveka. Ker si najstniki želijo umreti, Ker ne najdejo smisla na tem svetu, Ker jim postaja vseeno. Ker bolečino prekrivajo z alkoholom, cigareti in drogami. Pred nekaj leti so te stvari predstavljale način zabave, danes služijo kot dejavniki za sproščanje bolečine. Pa je vse to potrebno? Vrstijo se teroristični napadi, živimo v strahu. Ker vsak dan pomislim, da me lahko napadejo v domači vasi. Toliko sovražnosti le zaradi preproste drugačnosti. Ker je vse skupaj že en sam sebičen svet in so naši vsakdani vedno enaki. Ker se širijo govorice o vojni in mogoče ne bomo dosegli želenih ciljev. Ker istospolnim parom ne pripadajo nekatere pravice. Pa so res tako drugačni? Ker bi radi imeli le družino, ki je zelo pomembna, mi pa jim tega nočemo omogočiti. Ker imam jaz sama zmedeno glavo pa imam le 15 let. Ker so moji sovrstniki lahko posiljeni. Ker naš črn svet, olepšuje le rdeča barva na zapestjih. Ker ne upamo prositi za pomoč, zaradi krutega norčevanja. Ker ne vidimo izhoda. Bedenje do 4 zjutraj postane dnevna rutina. Bolečina postane neznosna.


A je res tako težko povedati nekaj lepih besed? Pa je potrebno gojiti sovraštvo do drugačnosti? Moramo obsojati ljudi? Druge kulture? A imajo naše spolne usmerjenosti res tako neverjetno pomembnost? Zakaj ne moremo sprejemati drug drugega? Eno lepo sporočilo lahko polepša nekomu dan. Pomoč lahko nekomu pomeni vse. Drugačnost je super. Ljubezen nima omejitev. Nekateri nimajo popolnega življenja in rabijo le nekaj podpore. Ker se moramo spodbujati. Začnimo polepševati dneve, širiti pozitivno voljo in spremeniti vsaj sebe, če celotnega sveta ne moremo.





Slika namenjena moji oboževalki.










Saturday, April 2, 2016

''I'm fine''


Hello guys!

I actually wrote 3 different posts and they still weren't the thing I wanted. I'm writing a 4th one now. At the time I'm a mess, my life is all over the place and I'm so confused. And here is also school, oh and my health and many other things. I really hope that this post will be okay. Sorry for explaining my emotions. The title is 'I'm fine' and please don't think that this is about me. Today I'm writing about one of the biggest lies anyone could say.


What does it even mean? It should mean that you are okay, that everything is fine and you are happy. But does it really in this time? No. It is just an excuse that you don't have to explain yourself. But believe me 'I'm fine' wont hide all your scars, pain and sadness. It will just leave you alone. Stop hiding the tears, the cuts on your arm, the pain in your chest, the smoke that comes out of your mouth. You are worth as much as all the other people around you. And you are worth all the help you need. Sometimes you need help from the others, even if you want to help yourself alone. Tell someone, but don't expect that everyone will understand how crying makes you stronger, how all the pain leaves with the cuts, how one cigarette can make you calm down and how anxiety attacks affect on you.


We live in a world, where all people don't understand all of these things, so if anyone starts talking that you are a bad person for doing it or that it's not worth it, just forget about them. Picture a world without them. They aren't your mom. What I'm trying to say is that many people say 'I'm fine' because we are scared of other opinions. You know what? Are they going through your problems? No they aren't, so just let them be in their small world of perfect. Someday everyone will learn that imperfections are the true beauty. There are 7 bilion people in this world, there is always someone in the same position as you.

Trust it just to the person who has the real mind to help you. So that there wont be any 'You seemed fine'. Cause 'seemed' is a tricky word, I guarantee you that with every inch there something isn't fine. Things aren't really what they 'seem' to be. Give your anger of I'm not fine to someone. Tell them every fucking little thing in your head. Break a plate while crying, scream loud. Do whatever the hell makes you feel free from all the pain. People like me will fight for you.We will make sure that there is always someone. In the end everything of this is a style of surviving and we have to deal with it.


Believe me, there will always come someone to you and he or she will make you feel better. Maybe the society is fucked, but we all need help, the world started with helping. So with some time, when everyone will be fucked and almost dead, we will get that power. Find your own hero.


Have a nice day, I love you! xoxo









Sunday, February 28, 2016

Write hard and clear about what hurts


Hello guys!

''Write hard and clear about what hurts'' is a quote by Ernest Hemingway. He was a writer. He traveled the world and he won a Nobel prize in literature. His quotes are life, he understood all the people in pain. He was a great man, but he isn't alive anymore, he committed suicide. I really want to be like him one day, especially at writing and traveling and helping of course. I know I have so many goals, but I have just one life and so do you.


Anyway with this quote I decided to write about a theme that most of people don't want to talk about. Yeah, that's feelings. I think that's a bad thing in this century, because we all suffer and hiding won't make it better. I really love it when people tell me what's going on in their heads. It's great to see some new feelings and clear them out with someone or have a deep talk. I just want that people would do more of these things, cause clearing your soul out is great for you. Before I start let me tell you something - 
IT IS NOT WRONG TO FEEL. That's okay, it's like the best thing. I know that sometimes you just wish to be a robot and go bowling with human heads, but in the end you are the human in this game. We all are.


To feel something means that you are alive, that you breathe and exist. But we have problems with this, many of us don't want to talk about it. Dear people you can't live like this, cause things like this make you suffer. Tell it to someone, anyone. And if you think you can't, write them down. I do this, not beacuse I don't have best friends, but I like to spend time alone and writing about everything. I show my feelings just to this notebook of secrets. Just give it a try, also if you're not good at writing, believe me, you can be your own John Green. You have always written before and you will write now. Go to a store, buy a notebook and a pencil and start creating. With some time, maybe you will learn to trust people more. Maybe there are always gonna be things that you don't want to tell, like breaking down, but it's fine, it's not your fault.

But what is even wrong with breaking down? Being strong for to long? Showing it just to yourself? No, nothing is wrong. And you shouldn't go trough it. Clear it out. We keep to much inside of us. If you don't tell people what hurts, because you're embarrassed, you shouldn't be. Maybe one day they will be in the same position, so share, help, make the world a better place. If I really talk about clearing the pain let me use another quote from Hemingway: ''We're stronger in the places that we've been broken.'' Yeah, I said that he is great at this. So what I want to say is that clearing can make you stronger. Don't hide it, your days are in counting, you better make the best of it.


In the end I will say it again, you're not alone, you shouldn't be embarrassed, cause you are human. Feelings will stay forever, but most of your decisions are once in a life time thing. So go out. clear your body and have a nice life. I know that it can be hard, but no one else can create such a great life trip as you. I'm here, your friends are here, the help is here. Believe in it.


Have a nice day, I love you! xoxo


















Saturday, January 23, 2016

Take a smile darling


Hello guys!

At first I would like to thank you for all the support after my first post. It means so much to me and I'm actually very proud of myself. 
What I want to show you today is actually a way to smile while crying and I'll be writing about happiness, cause I think we all need this. Everything came from a time when I was helping a friend and I told her something in this way. We have to change the world somehow. Hope you'll like it.
  • Always think positive
You are as happy as you make up your mind to be. If there is a day that something bad happens to you, don't be so sure that the next day will be the same. When you think about bad days, there is more likely that you will get one. And in this thinking of bad you will lose the sight of the good. Also when you are dealing with problems be careful what questions do you ask yourself. We are teenagers, there is a whole life in front of us. Maybe you don't believe me, but with some time you will know that I'm telling you the truth. Just open your mind and let some smile in it. It's gonna be awesome. So let's spread the positivity just like unicorns spread rainbows. 

  • Good in bad
Usually we say to ourselfs ''This is the worst thing that can happen to me.''. But you know every bad thing can be good. We live in this world where bad things happen all the time and you have to teach how to deal with them. If you are in a bad situtation there is always something good. Just find it and if you can't, you can ask a friend for help. We are not born with a life that is good or bad. We are born with just a life, and it is up to us. Look on the bright side of the things, of everything. There is always something to smile about. And yes it might be difficult, but only you can save yourself. If you can't find a good thing, then just do something that makes you happy and with some good mood you will get better. You want a great story? Then write it.

  • Make it perfect
You know, in every situtaton are things that are not perfect. So be the person that makes them perfect, you can change everything and you will. Looking at life in this way also allows you to see everything great that you have. You can also try with making a list with things that aren't the way you want them to be and then you can fix it. Oh and if you think you can't do it, just think of people that would hate a 'happy you' and show them that you are the king/queen. So you're baking cookies and you don't have some ingredients, what are you going to do? Yes, you are going to the store to buy them. So solve imperfect problems just like this. But with your mind and thinking. We can get to the top of the world, but we have to try.

So this is the end, hope you like it and that I did help you somehow. Society if you are reading this, you are a bitch. If you did expect my pictures, I'm sorry but there is winter outside ugh. But anyway I thought that if I'm writing about happiness I could give you pictures of people that make me happy.


Have a nice day, I love you! xoxo














Saturday, January 2, 2016

So yeah, that would be me

Hello once more!


So I guess you already saw that my name is Lara. I come from a small country Slovenia. More exactly I live in Prekmurje. I'm 14 years old now and I'm in ninth grade. 

Here is the year 2016, and like they all say - time for new things. So this year I'm starting a blog. Many people have said to me that I should do it, because I'm good at writing. So I think I should give it a try. This side will be about life stuff and about things that I have to tell people, about some stuff that should be in our heads, about how to save the world and about everything that matters. I really hope you will like it.

So in my future I would like to fight for people with mental illnesses. Somewhere outside are so many of us fighting with depression, anxiety, self harming, panic attacks, schizophrenia and many others. Some of them were and still are a part of my life and my goal is saving people from this sh*t. I'm not a girl obsessed with make up and fashion, I'm actually obsessed with my thoughts. And when I'm older I would like to be a psychologist. I can say that my life goal is to be a superhero for people lost in this world. Something else I would really like to do is writing. I want to be a writer. This just means everything to me and I can't go a day without it. It calms me down and it gives me my power. Can't wait to start with a book. 


For the end I am giving you some basic facts that I think you need to know:



  • So at first I'm actually a heartless bitch, yep that's me. I just don't have many feelings, I don't care about things like other opinions or haters. I just hate everything, I don't show feelings. #sorrynotsorry
  • I hate annoying people, so if you are annoying I will slap you, I guess. 
  • Pizza, okay. Sorry friends, sorry future husband, pizza means the world to me.
  • If I didn't get enough sleep please don't talk to me.
  • Music and TV-shows are the reason for happiness.
  • I write quotes. Yes, I'm one of those people.
  • I listen to rock and metal.
  • And one thing that I love the most are memories.
But I'm still a sweetheart, believe me. Have a nice day, I love you! xoxo

Gratis Due XIII.